Walang Muwang
Walang Muwang
A Picnic With 25
Naïveté comes with age, and for many of us, so does excitement, fear, and love. Youth has always been my excuse - sort of a pat on the back when I’m hit with the blues or surpassing some sort of failure. Every turning year is filled with inexplicable growing pains that mark the passing of chapters. I tend to bite my lips as I welcome maturity.
All imagery photographed by L.K. Ode.
I’d like to take this time to grow closer to myself as I ripen. This is our picnic with 25 and I humbly request your advice. Please write and send a letter to your 25-year-old self so I may read it as well. What encouragement would you share? In praise, what are your proudest moments during this era? How have you bloomed?
Our Naïve Writers
L.K. ODE
NOGANA DECASTRO
LYNSLEE MERCADO
ELIZA WILSON
DANIEL OMORI
Our Bodies, Our Home
Written by L.K. Ode
Dear 25,
Love each trace the years leave on your skin. Why are we so ashamed to show the world that our bodies have been lived in? Our skin reveals those moments that touched us. Let us not pretend we can make it unscathed, as if each scar and mark is anything but earned; you are the living proof that you scratched and clawed your way to get here. Thank your body— for reminding you constantly, of all the ways which you survived.
With love,
l. k.
A Secret Ingredient to the Age of 25
Written by Nogana DeCastro
If you combine number 2 and 5 you will get number 7. In numerology, number 7 is both deep and wise. It is not satisfied with simple explanations found on the surface. 25 is the age we surpass the beginning of our 20’s and enter a new dawn. It’s time to become deeper and wiser than yesterday’s version of ourselves. The Chariot always illustrates victory of some kind, number 7 is destined to be a lucky number. Numerological Number 7 invariably has a driving desire for spiritual wisdom and knowledge. They are problem-solvers, wanting to discover reasons for why whatever happens in life. The inspiration of curiosity.
Our twenties are dedicated to living and learning. Seemingly, these moments are the most emotional eras of our lives. Throughout our youth, we are so fearful of the consequences of life, that we begin regretting the decisions we inevitably choose. In my opinion, all outcomes we are given are the greatest lessons life can offer; for better or for worse, each lesson is a token of wisdom. Do not be afraid to make mistakes.
A year of being 25 was the most evolving period in my life thus far. A monumental time I started feeling like an adult. Making mature decisions, acquiring a significant job, and moving to my very own first apartment. By making all of these choices, I’ve found myself drifting further away from all of my friends and my previous life that was filled with excitement and pleasures. Initially I was reluctant to face these changes, but looking at the bigger picture, I needed that.
What's the bigger picture in your life? It’s difficult to determine how you should spend a year of being 25. I think 25 is such a beautiful number and such a young age where everyone should develop in their own unique way.
Your year of 25 will not be comparable among other. A lesson I’ve learned is that there are no right lessons for everyone. Simply live and learn. Make your own mistakes proudly and be grateful for these morals. When you pay for a lesson, you will remember it. Don’t stop dreaming and don’t stop trying to make those dreams into a reality. Anything is possible if you allow yourself to achieve it. Most of the time, our biggest enemy and critic is ourselves. So don’t stop yourself from dreaming and taking risks, act and fail, live and learn. The bravest of us will always succeed. Not the smartest ones.
Reminders from 21
Written by Lynslee Mercado
(A letter I wrote to myself when I was 21)
Dear Lynslee,
I've been writing these letters to you from the past and I realized I need to be more enthusiastic for my future self. So, this one's for you! Happy 25th birthday. I wonder how things are in this era of your life now. Who is married, who has kids, what is everyone doing now?
I'm currently spending my days between Irvine and San Diego, because I'm still in school. I do a lot of videography work and I think I might go to the gym to prepare for holding the camera around Nepal next month. I cooked some marinated chicken for dinner and ate that with some Trader Joe's multigrain rice.
I've read my past letters to myself and I am so naïve and enthusiastic about the future. I guess there is really no other way to overcome that, since all of these letters are coming from the past and I can't predict how my life will turn out.
I hope you're not doubting your worth again. That era is over, and we know better. Don't dumb yourself down or be less than what you are for the comfortability of others. You're better than that! You may get lazy sometimes, but you always find a way to get out of that mindset and back to yourself. You have so much to do and I bet this 25th year holds a lot for you.
Please appreciate your family and friends always, and remember they've been there for you as you have with them. I'm glad your relationship with your family is meaningful and comforting - hopefully that hasn't changed. I also hope Pazu is doing well and you're still taking her everywhere when you get the chance. She recently went to the dog park for the first time and had a lovely time.
In terms of love life, I hope you are with someone you love who treats you right always. My current mentality is that boys are liars and disappoint you eventually, but I hope someone changed that perspective. At the end of the day, just please don't settle. You've been through too much shit to just settle for something that doesn't fulfill you!
Is your mental health ok? It's a bit rough for me right now but I hope that isn't the same for you at this time. I love crying - it makes me feel alive and awakens me. If you're feeling stuck, just cry. Read this letter, watch a Ghibli film, and just cry. You'll feel better and have clarity about how to move forward.
I wonder what you're doing now. Are you working on film sets or traveling the world as a journalist? I know you have school debt right now, but don't worry about that, you'll definitely pay it off eventually. I think whatever you've set your mind to, you'll accomplish eventually,
I love you future, past, and present Lynslee. And that's not conceited at all, contrary to what I've written in my other past letters. You deserve this love one thousand percent! Now go do something amazing. Take care of yourself and most importantly love yourself. If you need a sign for something, here is that sign. Follow through with your contemplations, because this is the moment. You are the moment!
Congratulations on this milestone of your life. I'll chat to you from the past again, someday.
Take care,
Lynslee
Note to Self
Written by Eliza Wilson
I’m reaping the benefits of the foundation you’ve laid. It feels like things are falling into place easier and there's an opportunity to breathe a little without worry. I know we deserve to take it easy, after the years we have had, but I’m getting the feeling it’s time to start thinking beyond our present day. Our future feels closer this year, like it’s knocking on our door but we’re too busy trying to ignore it. How did we get here? I’ve been focused on budgeting and saving “for the future” but it doesn’t look like our future has a clear vision just yet and the pennies we’re saving isn’t enough for the adult we aspire to be. I’m looking around and it feels like everything is persisting forward but here we are, watching it go by. I’m feeling bogged down by the state of our country, let alone the state of the world. We’re at the age where we need to start thinking about a family and a home but who has time for that when it feels like we’re on the brink of a revolution at any moment. I’m tired of living through historic events, I just want to escape into nowhere land and depend on myself for nourishment of mind and soul. At 25 you said you felt like your age, at 26 the clocks are starting to tick but it seems far-fetched to think of a future.
Dear Daniel
Written by Daniel Omori
In the spirit of naïveté, let me recall at some point you may think cougars are appealing, but let me tell you, they are not. I still remember the complement of your cheekbones offset by an unwanted tongue molestation of said cheeks while your friends watched in amusement. At that moment you realized, you do not want this. These fantasies of the future sometimes in your head are in reality, not the dreams you had in mind.
I am writing to the 25-year-old version of myself as I reflect back on 7 years that have brought me to 32. You love your friends and family and value traveling to see them. You learn to embrace adventure and your nerdy passions. This takes us to Norway, Japan, multiple music festivals – we get to see our love, Taylor Swift, at one of them – climbing trips, and Comic-Con among many other things. It can be said, we are enjoying the moment. Our friends are all in the same place as you trying to navigate their careers so everyone is available, despite not having much money. These were fun times.
Career-wise we are working in a lab as a scientist, but realize the idea of life in a lab is not bringing you joy. Our social life is great, but our career as a scientist doesn’t seem so bright. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we learn about design, go back to school, and find our way into a new career as UX/UI designer that even leads us to our dream city of New York. We are ecstatic and successful in our future endeavors. We nostalgically think back to our childhood of drawing pokemon with our cousins, thinking maybe I was always meant to follow this path. Speaking of, we get much closer with our cousins again who are our closest friends after years of separation from college, travel, and jobs while our other friends are settling down deeper into their own lives with careers and family. There is an ironic circular shift now where our career is fulfilling, but our social life has shrunk. I actually feel like I'm trying to find that 25-year-old version of us again that could socialize so easily. After becoming too comfortable in isolation for 2 years during the pandemic, I hope getting back out there is like riding a bike and we can surround ourselves with people that help bring out that side of us again. Fingers crossed.
So as I look back on these 7 years, I am glad we pursued our new passions and hope others around us do so as well with much luck and success. We all will work past our imposter syndrome and try to remember the little successes that brought us here. Nothing happened overnight as they always say. Meet people and help others because that networking helped get you here and your work helped keep you there. It's easy to fall into cynicism, don’t do that either. Stay positive, we got this.
Best of luck,
Daniel
Pleading the (Twenty) Fifth
Written by Maurice Levardo
On the first of June, a set of twins were birthed from Summer. A peculiar pair who were given three exceptional gifts; curiosity, devotion, and luck. With these dispositions, the two were free to wander as far as they wished or as near as they pleased. With every moment, our twins were inseparable. Finding comfort within their own companies, hands held closely.
Although the pair found happiness, they both yearned for greater. So, every year, on the first of June, they smiled politely and called upon Summer for another gift. The other seasons were quite apprehensive about this request, but their dear Summer could not refuse these June bugs.
As time passed beneath the seasons, the twins became so engulfed by desire that greed sprouted across their minds. As the two insisted for more, their hands could no longer hold the gifts they were once given. Summer had nothing else but tears and a broken heart. To punish the pair, the other seasons joined together to curse our naïve twins.
“As punishment for your cruel insatiability, the two of you must be separated. You both may exist, but surely not at once. One twin will take place as a shadow, while the other of the two will live. As a pair, the both of you will share this curse and must exchange places as each day passes. On the 25th year, we will forfeit our punishment and give you one final gift. Life. But, you must both decide who receives this lasting present.”
–
Aging is immeasurable and terrifying. Especially under the assumption that we collect better judgment and good fortune along the way. As I mark my lifeline with a quarter of a century, I’m overwhelmed with a confusing burden. An expectation. An idea that I’m destined to lose more and more of my youth. Leaving immaturity behind while accepting a new age.
But I like where I stand. In fact, I am in love with the ways I am now. It’s true, I am not complete just yet, I am not entirely whole, I am not looking for an end. I love asking for advice, I love my naïveté, I love my clumsy nature – at the best of times. Although I also love saying hello to the forthcoming year, I am still unable to say goodbye to the last 24.
This issue of The Naïve Journal is dedicated to Iris Luv Victa-Cheng.